Choice....six letters that combine to make such a powerful word. More and more I am coming to realize just how important choice is to an individual, how vital it is to helping a person thrive and live with dignity.
Choice is something that I take for granted almost every day. What am I going to choose for breakfast? When do I have time in my schedule to meet up with three different people this week? Honestly, sometimes I feel overwhelmed by all the choices I have to make navigating life in a city of 23 million people. I fail to remember that choice is a blessing, a true blessing.
I know of some women working in situations of exploitation who do not have access to a kitchen. Their boss brings them their food for each meal and they have no input in terms of the menu items. These women also have no control of when they will be working. Their schedule can change on a whim as the boss decides.
I made a deliberate choice to move across the world to work and serve. Economic necessity forced these women to leave their hometown and seek any possible employment to keep their family financially afloat. These brave women often leave behind their small children in hopes of seeking a better life. Once they arrive to the big city they are tricked into working jobs they never expected. Any form of choice or decision making is quickly taken away.
It often seems counter intuitive that women who are offered alternative employment and a better life do not immediately jump at the opportunity. When you are not allowed to make basic choices through the day, it is a gigantic step to choose to leave your current situation and make a drastic life change. It takes time for a woman to build up the self-confidence to start making decisions about their own lives. This is a long process that takes relationships with stable influences. More importantly, it takes hours of intercession asking Him to intervene in these women's lives and change their hearts as only He can. I am so thankful that I have been blessed with the opportunity to be His salt and light to these amazingly resilient women. I am thankful that I can be part of their healing journey. I am thankful that how I choose to spend my time ultimately helps another woman make choices for herself.
Wednesday, May 29, 2013
Sunday, April 28, 2013
Language Study
Here a some pictures of my main Mandarin textbook and notebook so that you can see what I am learning in language school. The English definitions of new words are the only English words in my book. As you can see below, I am now at the stage where I am required to read Chinese characters with no help from pinyin, or phonetic pronunciation guides.
Sunday, April 7, 2013
Listening
"Be quick to listen and slow to speak."
"There is a reason you have two ears and only one mouth."
I've heard these phrases all my life and have quickly come up with a list of excuses why I do not need to work to become a better listener:
I already leave so many thoughts unsaid.
I have some useful information to contribute to this conversation.
Communication is a two way street so therefor I can say something anytime I want.
The older I get the more I realize that when I think of listening I think of not talking. I do not approach listening as truly hearing another person. Since moving into a cross-cultural context, I have realized how insufficient my definition of listening has become. When interacting with people from a different background it is not enough to simply hear the words being spoken, you must concentrate on the meaning the person is attempting to convey.
Listening is not an innate skill for me. Talking, expressing my opinion, contributing to a conversation, sharing new facts....basically talking is what comes naturally for me. While this is not always a bad thing, my natural inclination is away from listening and creating the space necessary for other people to express themselves. One of my biggest hinderances to being a good listener is my desire to jump in and identify with what the other person is saying, to let them know that they are not alone. While this is not the worst thing, desiring to identify with people actually hinders conversations by derailing the topic. It can keep the topic causal and prevent the other person from fully expressing their feelings.
Living cross-culturally, interacting with people form every walk of life imaginable, I am constantly searching for a point of overlap, seeking to find things we both have in common that can bridge the gap between our diverse experiences. But how much do I miss because I am so intent on seeking a commonality? Have I prevented the opportunity to learn from another person by speaking too quickly? Did I miss the chance to speak hope, love, peace or joy into a situation because I did not create the space in the conversation to truly find out how that person is doing? Did I completely miss what they were trying to convey?
I am on the journey to becoming a good listener. I am actively trying to speak less, work to provide people with the space to express their hearts and not offer advice before hearing the fully story. Every time I come away from an encounter feeling proud of myself for not speaking too quickly, there are give other interactions where I know I have come up short. Though I have just started down this lengthy path, I am excited about this learning process. By learning to be a better listener I am learning to become a better friend, a more attentive person and a more caring individual.
"There is a reason you have two ears and only one mouth."
I've heard these phrases all my life and have quickly come up with a list of excuses why I do not need to work to become a better listener:
I already leave so many thoughts unsaid.
I have some useful information to contribute to this conversation.
Communication is a two way street so therefor I can say something anytime I want.
The older I get the more I realize that when I think of listening I think of not talking. I do not approach listening as truly hearing another person. Since moving into a cross-cultural context, I have realized how insufficient my definition of listening has become. When interacting with people from a different background it is not enough to simply hear the words being spoken, you must concentrate on the meaning the person is attempting to convey.
Listening is not an innate skill for me. Talking, expressing my opinion, contributing to a conversation, sharing new facts....basically talking is what comes naturally for me. While this is not always a bad thing, my natural inclination is away from listening and creating the space necessary for other people to express themselves. One of my biggest hinderances to being a good listener is my desire to jump in and identify with what the other person is saying, to let them know that they are not alone. While this is not the worst thing, desiring to identify with people actually hinders conversations by derailing the topic. It can keep the topic causal and prevent the other person from fully expressing their feelings.
Living cross-culturally, interacting with people form every walk of life imaginable, I am constantly searching for a point of overlap, seeking to find things we both have in common that can bridge the gap between our diverse experiences. But how much do I miss because I am so intent on seeking a commonality? Have I prevented the opportunity to learn from another person by speaking too quickly? Did I miss the chance to speak hope, love, peace or joy into a situation because I did not create the space in the conversation to truly find out how that person is doing? Did I completely miss what they were trying to convey?
I am on the journey to becoming a good listener. I am actively trying to speak less, work to provide people with the space to express their hearts and not offer advice before hearing the fully story. Every time I come away from an encounter feeling proud of myself for not speaking too quickly, there are give other interactions where I know I have come up short. Though I have just started down this lengthy path, I am excited about this learning process. By learning to be a better listener I am learning to become a better friend, a more attentive person and a more caring individual.
Tuesday, March 26, 2013
Weekend with Jeff
I was so blessed to travel to ZhengZhou this weekend to spend time with Jeff. I still can't believe that we are in the same country! I really enjoyed the time I was able to spend with him, even though it was too short. Here are a few pictures from our weekend together.
His bosses paid for us to stay in a very nice hotel.
His bosses paid for us to stay in a very nice hotel.
They also paid for all the foreign teachers and myself to have a steak dinner (my first since moving).
View of the city.
Street vendors selling food.
Look what we found at Walmart!
On the way to lunch we ran into models doing a photo shoot.
Wednesday, March 13, 2013
Smiles
I had not spent much time considering what a smile can bring to a relationship or situation until last week. My Chinese coworker mentioned that she loves how my smile lights up the room. I have never considered myself a very smiley person or pondered what I could bring to a room through my presence before. Her comment got me thinking about what a smile communicates: warmth, joy, love, respect, and consideration for others. If you do not like a person you are not going to exert the energy to smile.
As I have reflected back on her words, I am increasingly thankful for her feedback. Though I am trying very hard to learn the language, my communication skills are survival at best. I often get internally frustrated by my language limitations because there is so much that I want to say to people that I am currently unable to express in Mandarin. Smiling, however, makes up for my limited vocabulary. I do not need to say out loud how much I respect, admire, or am proud of a woman for making substantial changes in their life because that can be communicated through a beaming smile of pride. I can let a woman trapped in exploitation know that she is valuable, consequential and precious in His sight through my smile. I can bring His hope into a hopeless situation through my nonverbal communication skills.
Something as simple as moving a few muscles can make all the difference!
As I have reflected back on her words, I am increasingly thankful for her feedback. Though I am trying very hard to learn the language, my communication skills are survival at best. I often get internally frustrated by my language limitations because there is so much that I want to say to people that I am currently unable to express in Mandarin. Smiling, however, makes up for my limited vocabulary. I do not need to say out loud how much I respect, admire, or am proud of a woman for making substantial changes in their life because that can be communicated through a beaming smile of pride. I can let a woman trapped in exploitation know that she is valuable, consequential and precious in His sight through my smile. I can bring His hope into a hopeless situation through my nonverbal communication skills.
Something as simple as moving a few muscles can make all the difference!
Friday, March 8, 2013
Psalm 23
This week at small group we read Psalm 23 from a variety of translations. Meditating on the famous psalm, I was once again struck by the powerful prose. While listening to verses I wrote down the promises contained in the passage. In Him I am:
resourced
anointed
protected
faithfully remembered
given rest
provided for
restored
made righteous
disciplined in love
surrounded by goodness and mercy
home
I am thankful for the space to focus on the words that we all know so well and see His loving promises in a new light. This passage provides hope in the midst of life, knowing that we are provided for and resourced by the Creator of the universe who only has good things in store for us.
resourced
anointed
protected
faithfully remembered
given rest
provided for
restored
made righteous
disciplined in love
surrounded by goodness and mercy
home
I am thankful for the space to focus on the words that we all know so well and see His loving promises in a new light. This passage provides hope in the midst of life, knowing that we are provided for and resourced by the Creator of the universe who only has good things in store for us.
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