Strength in Numbers

           I have been reflecting recently on the power of diversity found in community.  We were designed to be in relationship, to learn from others.  There is such strength found when different people are intentional about bringing their best to the table. Everyone was created with different skill sets and abilities.  I know that I have many wonderful attributes to contribute to any group of people, but my skills alone are not sufficient.  I need other people to bring their best so that I can more fully experience all the attributes of our Father. 

Gifts mixes are designed to work together.  On a recent trip to Shanghai, I became sick and my friend Emily and I ended up needing to reschedule our flight.  Emily is one the most compassionate and attentive people I have the pleasure of knowing.  I could not have had a better person to help take care of me when I was feeling ill.  As Emily was helping us reschedule our flight and making sure I had water and a comfortable place to sit, I suddenly remembered that Emily had checked baggage and her bag was about to leave for Shanghai without her.  [Honestly, it seemed like that was the only coherent thought I had during the entire night]. Emily was able to inform the fight staff in enough time to keep her bag from traveling across the country without her.  When we finally on the way to Shanghai and immune systems were back in full swing, Emily and I started laughing about how my attention to detail was crucial in that situation.  That skill is so ingrained in me that it came out even while I was not operating at my best.  Attention to detail, however, is no comfort.  I needed Emily’s compassion just as much as she needed her bag. 

While this is a small example, it reminded me of the importance of relationship and appreciating differences.  What do I miss by not asking for help, allowing others to speak into my life.  What aspects of our Father’s character do I not see because I am focused on myself and what I can do well?  How could our communities, fellowships, families change if we actively celebrated our diversity?

Self-Control

This week I have been listening to a Graham Cooke teaching about the Fruit of the Spirit. One particular quote jumped out at me.  Graham defines self-control as "believing the best about someone." I had never heard self-control defined that way.  Typically I would describe self-control as restraining my actions or the things I would say out loud.  Never before had I considered self-control as a check on my thoughts, feelings, or heart attitude. 

I find this definition simple but very powerful. It is not about external actions. It is about the posture of our heart.  G-d is equally as concerned with the thoughts of my heart and my internal attitude as He is about my actions towards other people.  Galatians 5:22-23 lists the attributes of the Spirit and the majority of them have to do with the posture of our hearts.  It is equally exciting and challenging to know that He is constantly wanting us to become more like Him in very thought and deed.

This quote has inspired me to be more in control of my thoughts.  Internally I need to believe the best about each person in my life.  I need to recognize the good qualities in each person, even if there is something challenging in our relationship at the moment.  I hope this new approach in my thinking will help me become a better person, friend, and leader.

出去 (Going Out)

This week I finished reading Leslie T. Chang's book, Factory Girls.  Factory Girls follows the stories of three teenagers who 出去, left their rural farming village to find factory work in the big city. This booked fascinated me on so many levels.  As an ex-pat I identified with the girl's struggles to establish relationships in a foreign place.  As a history/political science student I was fascinated reading the consequences of globalization when examined from the perspective of the person working in the factories that produce Nike shoes, Apple computers, and designer handbags.

Chang spent three years in the factory town of Dongguan, building relationships with the migrant workers and visiting as many factories as possible.  In the book she details each women's journey: changing jobs multiple times a year, losing contact with everyone you know when your cell phone is stolen, and changing family dynamics as they begin earning more money then their parents.  

Though I made notes throughout the book, two quotes have helped me better understand the world in which these young women live and how it parallels the lives of the women I befriend.

•  "To stay outside and work your entire life is better than staying home."  Failure is returning home, not being able to make it in the city. Working 10-12 hour days with little time off does not matter when you are achieving success and earning more money in the city than your entire family can earn back home. [This parallels the American Dream, the ideal that through hard work and effort each generation can surpass the achievement and success of their parents.] As I have established friendships with migrant women in my city and see the demands of their jobs, I have often though "this is just not worth it." After reading this book I feel I better understand the thinking of these women and their desire to succeed.
• "In the end we must rely on ourselves." The women who work in exploitative situations are incredibly strong, determined, and gifted women. They have the strength and courage to make a living in an extremely harsh environment. I am constantly amazed by their determination to succeed in the big city and provide for their families back in the countryside. Their ability to survive, however, comes at a price. Understandably, these women must learn to protect themselves, their hearts and emotions. High, thick walls have been built. Most of the women do not trust very easily because of failed relationships. Past hurts have taught them that other people take advantage of you, trick you, and that people ultimately cannot be trusted. You cannot rely on anyone other than yourself. While this helps them survive in their current work environment, I know that this is not the truth. We were created for community, friendship, to be in a supportive network. I ask our loving Father to guide me as I build relationships with these women. I ask that my actions will help correct the lie that people cannot be trusted. Most importantly, I long for the day when each of these precious women discover the blessing of community and healthy relationships.